You know it’s a bad sign when your 4 year old asks, “Mommy, who do you love more: your tree or me?”. And by tree she is referring to my fiddle leaf fig. Or as I’ve come to call it: my f&*#ing fiddle leaf fig. I am sure you all have seen one- they’re the latest and greatest in home foliage. With large, tropical, bright green leaves and a slim trunk, these trees are adorning living rooms from Design Sponge to Architectural Digest to Crate and Barrel. They are beautiful and almost works of art in themselves. That’s why I got the itch and just had to have one for my living room. My local gardener insisted that I could not kill it because these trees were “very easy to care for and great house plants.” Well, please see exhibit A (January 2015) and B (August 2015) below. Yes, it took 8 short months in Caradise for my fiddle leaf to die (I hope you, reader, are faring better with me). What went wrong? Not entirely sure. But said gardener also reassured me that there was a fungus in the air due to our unseasonably rainy summer here in St. Louis. He said not to take things personally. So I am not and will buy another soon. Much to my 4-years olds chagrin.