If you’ve been with me since the beginning, you know my love/hate (but mostly hate) relationship with the fiddle leaf fig tree that resides in the southeast corner of my living room (the saga is here). These trees are gorgeous when they come off the delivery truck, then within weeks in my care, turn to this.

If you’re counting, I’m on my second tree in less than two years and it’s recently hit rock bottom. When we came back from vacation, there were 12 (exactly one dozen) leaves scattered on the ground around my tree. I unlocked the door and screamed so loud upon seeing the carnage that my husband thought we’d been robbed. And as such, said tree currently stands in my living room. A brown, twig-like form that is definitely bringing down the mojo of my entire first floor. It’s got to go.

But as this buy/kill/buy/kill routine is getting to be a very expensive habit, I’m rethinking getting another live tree and instead considering a faux option. Tacky I know, but I really need something green in my house, this corner in particular. Below you have the best options I’ve found. They are not the cheapest, but the most attractive and real-looking in my mind (plus, I’d have spent this anyway in roughly 36 months given the current pace at which I’m killing the live ones). The second option below is a bar cart I’ll top with vase and fiddle leaf limbs that I think could serve the same purpose and also add some utilitarian value. Whatdayathink? I suppose I could also crowdsource and try to muster up funds to replace a new, live one every 9 months. Are you feeling generous?

Clockwise from top:

1 // 2 (cart  ($239!), vase, leaves) // 3 // 4